” Are they referring to one half of a pair of pants

The continuing saga of the beleaguered customer

canada goose jacket outlet Today is the latest episode in my Pulitzer Prize winning investigative series on the plight Canada Goose Coats On Sale of the beleaguered customer service representative. canada goose jacket outlet

Keebler Club Crackers

canada goose outlet uk sale Me: Does your product cause hypercalcemia, which can lead to brittle bones, kidney stones, frequent urination, and confusion that can get so severe you might canada goose uk black friday mistake a cup Canada Goose Outlet of coffee for, say, a donkey? canada goose outlet uk sale

Pam: cheap canada goose uk I am not aware of anything like that. Why do uk canada goose you ask?

canada goose outlet uk Me: Well, I was looking at the ingredients on the box, and for calcium, instead of giving an amount per serving or whatnot, it just says “Omigod.” canada goose outlet uk

canada goose outlet nyc Pam: It says “Omigod” on the package? canada goose outlet nyc

Me: Yes! I figured if you can’t even bring yourselves canada goose black friday sale to say it, the amount must be really high. Too much calcium causes hypercalcemia.

Pam: Let me take a look. Please hold for a canada goose clearance sale moment.

canada goose factory outlet (Three minutes pass. She finds the package.) canada goose factory outlet

canada goose outlet new york city Pam: I don’t see where it says that. canada goose outlet new york city

canada goose outlet in usa Me: It’s under Calcium. It says OMG, like kids say in their texts. Couldn’t be clearer. canada goose outlet in usa

goose outlet canada Pam: Oh! I see the problem! That’s zero milligrams. It is just saying it has 0 mg canada goose clearance based canada goose factory sale on a 2,000 calorie diet. goose outlet canada

Me: Well, that’s confusing. Why even mention an ingredient if it has none? I mean, why not just say it has zero milligrams of strychnine?Me: I am looking at the package for your product, where it tells you what size heat wrap to buy based on the waist size of your trousers. The sizes are broken down into “Women’s Pant Size” and “Men’s Pant Size.” My question is, what is a “pant”?

Amelia: It is referring to the size of your pants.

canada goose black friday sale Me: Right. I buy canada goose jacket know what pants are, but this says “pant.” Are they referring to one half of a pair of pants, like one leg and one butt cheek? Is my size supposed to be double that measurement? Because then canada goose coats these would be wraps for 68 inch waists, and they’d be waaay too big for me. canada goose black friday sale

Amelia: Oh!

Me: Yeah, I mean, I don’t mean https://www.canadagoose-outlet.co.uk to disrespect the dead, but I don’t think even Chris Farley had a 68 inch waist. A hippo leg wouldn’t be big enough for a 68 inch waist. Maybe a giant sequoia?

Amelia: I think this is just a mistake on our part. A mistake in tense.

canada goose outlet sale Me: Actually, it wouldn’t be tense. It would be, like, some other term. Pluralism? Singularity? canada goose outlet sale

canada goose outlet toronto factory Amelia: Yes. canada goose coats on sale I’ll Canada Goose Parka forward your feedback. canada goose outlet toronto factory

Me: Numericity?

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Me: I just want you to know that I love your product and prefer it to all the more expensive fancy pants mustards like Grey Poupon, and moutarde de Dijon, which you have to pronounce with a canada goose uk shop Cheap Canada Goose UK snotty nasal French accent while Canada Goose Online wearing a monocle.

canada goose outlet store Ha ha! No worries! canada goose outlet store

canada goose outlet online Me: Yeah, and I don’t care that your mustard is blindingly yellow, a color that does Canada Goose sale not occur in nature or even any known petrochemical exudate. Who says a condiment can’t be the color of a 1950s rain slicker?Me: I was just calling to suggest that you consider adding other primary colors, like orange traffic cones or neon blue Frisbees canada goose outlet online.